The pleasures of self-imposed discipline.
If your first thought is dieting or exercise, then pleasure is probably not the first thing that comes to mind. There's the pleasure that you take in the results, from defined biceps to dropping a dress size, but hardly pleasure in the act of self-discipline. Or at least, there wasn't really for me. Not even the smug self-satisfaction of posting just barely sweaty gym pics of you looking beastly after Crossfit is a pleasure in the discipline. It's more like the pleasure of the comparison, the look-at-me.
What I'm talking about is the quiet pleasure that you get from establishing a habit that is personally fulfilling and then sticking with it. So yes, fitness and food goals can fall into that category, but not for their particular ends.
Right now, I can't really name something that I'm doing that fits that bill, except perhaps for keeping this blog. And to be honest, it's still not at the pleasure status, but I didn't start it because I felt like it was going to be personally fulfilling, I started it because I need to flex my writing muscles and push back against the laziness of post-academic life. (Laziness with regard to production. I'm happy to read and do read a great deal, but all the information tends to sit and rust inside my head.)
But I guess what I was going to say, and the reason why I thought of the subject in the first place, is that this is part of why I'm taking a particular interest in looking at my hobbies lately. I absolutely have a lot of interests, but I am keenly aware that casually picking up a dip pen once a month is not going to result in the kind of beautiful penmanship that I find while casually skimming through my Instagram feed. Likewise, if I actually want to become fully proficient with German, it's going to take more than wishful thinking, and if I want to learn Latin at all, that "more than" will be a lot of effort.
And yet, the pursuit of these hobbies in a focused, effortful way is about so much more than just their particular fruits. What each one offers is another opportunity to learn the replicable practice of discipline. The experience of training yourself to pay attention and to do not merely as your whims prescribe, but because it is what you do at this time. This is a skill in itself, and it may be improved by all sorts of tangential means, from meditation to just reading a longform piece all the way through (Confession: I started deliberately and determinedly finishing long articles after I read that most people get barely a few paragraphs in before they get distracted or give up). It seems, however, that the most potent method of learning is by establishing one thing at a particular time and then sticking with it for the long haul. In this sense, it would not simply be the mind-clearing act of meditation that improves focus, but the mere fact of doing it every morning in spite of the weather, how hungover you are, and what your ex-best friend said about you on Facebook last night.
I think the satisfaction that we get from self-discipline is this sense that not only have I done something, but that I have achieved mastery over my own will and desires along the way. Or perhaps mastery is not the right word, because my overarching will is to become more physically fit. But that will clashes against the demands and emotions of the present moment, so perhaps it would be more apt to say that I have successfully and consistently brought my current actions in line with my ongoing will, regardless of circumstance. What could be more enjoyable and confidence-boosting than the knowledge that you have a measure of control over your own life?
Today's Reads
*****!!!! This is awesome! I hate how quickly clothes wear out, and I'm psyched that there's a push back: The Power of Buying Less by Buying Better by Elizabeth Cline
- Texas health official out of job over study favorable to Planned Parenthood by Sarah Kaplan
- Skinny People Rarely Diet by Olga Khazan
- Inside the Artificial Universe that Creates Itself by Roc Morin
- Go Set a Legacy: The Fate of Harper Lee by Megan Garber
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