I want to do a lot of things, and usually that's posed as a problem of trade offs. What do I have to give up if I want to do this? For those who are want to go deep, who want to become an expert at what they do, the trade off is steep. You can't dedicate hours to one thing every day and not ultimately be missing out on a lot of other possibilities. But the flip side is that if I pursue all of my interests rather than picking a few and going with those, I "trade" the pleasure of expertise for casual, general knowledge.
Honestly, it's also a huge time suck. My life activities right now are basically: work, going to meet ups, preparing to lead a discussion, learning Latin, brushing up on my German grammar and vocabulary (with the hope of trying my hand at a rough novel translation), reading books for pleasure, reading books for discussions, reading books for book clubs, knitting leg warmers, cooking/baking whenever possible, learning how to use dip pens and fountain pens, learning how to bind books, writing poetry, learning Gothic script, learning copperplate calligraphy. For work, I've also had to learn some new skills, which was part of my interest in making the transition to a new coffee shop at all, and I've been playing around with what I learned in a manual brewing class, plus of course honing my latte art skillz. And amidst all of this, I've been trying to explore my new neighborhood, hang out with friends whenever possible, and not miss out on cultural events if they're free enough for me to be able to afford them--Evensong this afternoon, an ethics of consumerism talk tomorrow. Oh, and blogging. This takes a lot of time, believe it or not, which is partly why I totally failed to write anything yesterday (there was also a spontaneous trip to a hookah cafe, but details, details...), and kind of cheated the two days before that. I am also digging my proximity to small arts picture houses and am itching to watch more independent films, as much as my somewhat limited finances will allow.
My preference for variety was once posed back to me as something bordering on a moral failing. That engaging in that kind of committed labor of study was a non-negotiable for the good life. I appreciate the sentiment: commitment is extremely important, and if we didn't have people who are willing to go the distance, there is a great deal that we would be lacking.
But I'm know I've argued this obliquely, if not directly before on this blog, and I'm going to say it again. There is room for both the specialist and the generalist. I will probably never reach a state of expertise at anything, but that's not what I'm aiming for. The variety of things that I'm trying to do can be exhausting, but I'm also aware of something that critical underlies all of this, and it's that I have an intelligent, active mind that gets depressed and dull when it is not stimulated. A major part of that stimulation is in making connections and conceiving of things in different lights from the ways that they are ordinarily situated.
Furthermore, I don't see a lot of these interests as being divergent in ways that would start demanding more significant trade offs. I keep myself busy, sure, but I don't see myself as being any sort of polymath, for example. Maybe if I were trying to delve into theoretical physics or something. But most of my activities branch from a few central interests: ideas, language, coffee, paper/ink arts, and culture (of a selective, curated sort). As long as I'm not straying too far from my themes, much of what I do is mutually reinforcing. For example, when I do my Latin lessons, I translate the exercises into German, which has the effect of forcing me to learn new vocabulary while brushing up on the finer points of grammar. The real trade offs aren't so much in terms of things that interest me as in things that I have to do but don't have any particular interest in, beyond sustaining life and relationships.
As for what I'm trying to get out of all of this... I'm not really sure, beyond what I said earlier about mental stimulation. I suppose I want to express myself creatively, develop my natural strengths, and both challenge and be challenged by others to think critically about important aspects of worldview and the way that plays out in society. I also don't have a major end game that I'm working towards now, and there's probably a small part of me that hopes that out of all this activity, I'll learn something meaningful about myself or meet someone who can help me along the way. If all else fails, as Francis has always told me, it's important to be interesting, if only so that you'll be able to make an impression or the strange connections. Now if only I were as motivated to work on my social skills...
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