Dear God: You called?

There's this thing called 'doubt' and it creeps up on the best of us. Since I am not the best of anything, I most certainly have faced it many a time in my day. But God has a way of reminding me that He has me on the right track. 

For instance. I am presently attending a YWAM discipleship training school. It is very difficult to resist signing up to join YWAM for the rest of my life. It would be so easy. Find a few people who are willing to support me on a monthly basis, join on staff somewhere (mentoring students can't be THAT hard, right?), and be a part of an amazing community that provides a specific place for God to transform lives... Yeah. Plus, every single week, we have lecturers who are each convinced that THEIR ministry is the most important one. Believe me when I say that I have convinced myself I should join a house of prayer, Mission Build, buy a one way ticket to a place no one has ever heard of, or become a worship leader. I did manage to avoid the jab most evangelism weeks, but then they had one that involved revival on college campuses and I submitted. Funny too, since evangelism is one thing that nobody gets to sneak out on, no matter what their call is in life.

Still, God knows how to ensure that I remember who I am and where He is taking me. And it's definitely all Him because I can't even tell you how many times I have dug my heels in along the way. Then, faintly, I hear those words to Paul... "It's painful for you to kick against the goads." He's right. The other day, an IMPACT 360 alumna started a thread on our facebook group about the philosophical implications of that perennial question: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" I treasure the few moments that I can actually think about something, so I did my best with a comment regarding sound waves being a perception of the human mind, which combined with Mark's observations on ontology and epistemology and turned into a deep discussion involving Hobbes, Berkeley, and Descartes. Once Basie got involved and Bethany really started diving in, the waters went way over my head in terms of my ability to participate, but I LOVE this discussion. It's almost ludicrous how hungrily I am drinking it up. 

In case you were wondering, yes, I do want to go to college; yes, I do want to read ALL of the classics and have already started to the best of my ability; yes, I do want to teach at a university level; and yes, I am very serious when I say that I think that's what God is calling me to (my sister heard that I want to teach and she snorted, giving me a 'good luck'... apparently it's not her idea of the most rewarding position in the world). Glory. When do classes start?

1 comment:

  1. It is a noble calling and its own reward. I wish you the best of luck and many blessings.