It's Tuesday at last. September 14th has not exactly dawned so much as it has been blackly ushered in by the gradual transitions of the green LED numbers on my alarm clock. And somehow, whatever happens tomorrow (Wednesday, I mean) matters far less to me than where I am right now. How is it that I can have no idea where He is taking me and yet have greater peace than I ever did when the future seemed as precisely delineated as a Mandelbrot set? "I've finally found where I belong," and truly, Lord, it is in Your presence.
I am $4,350 away from going to Fire and Fragrance. Those are the numbers. But sometimes numbers aren't everything.
For instance, a snatched evening with my mentor, the amazing Hayden. Four unexpected hours of conversation at Olive Garden. Our server probably thought we were insane, and we weren't even drinking. But these are the moments we live for. Conversations about everything from the story of Sweeney Todd to the glorification of the bad guy (because, after all, who is to say that his philosophy is of less merit than that of the good guys) to boys to infinity and beyond... Well, infinity might not have been one of the topics, but we definitely went beyond just those.
In Revelations 21:3-4, the loud voice says, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He shall dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be among them, and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
To be alive in a fallen world means to experience much pain and travail. "For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." (Romans 8:22-23)
Many are the tears of the waiting world, crying out for its redemption, for its true master and the Creator of all to return at last. All is not right and we know it. But this is the grace of our beloved Abba, that for every tear we shed in our finite, numbered lives on earth, we have an eternity of laughter in paradise. Though we are the better for our time in the house of mourning, it is only because we are joined all the closer to Him by uniting with Him in suffering. And someday we shall move from the house of mourning to the city of praise.
To dwell in the house of the Lord forever... And this past day I think He has granted me rest there for these moments. Oh Father, if this is the way, I will walk in it.