Bethany made the observation last night that we would probably not struggle so much with our "IMPACT exile" if it weren't for the fact that we can't go back whether we would or no. I would argue otherwise because I admit that less than one day into my voluntary weekend in Tennessee, I was writhing to get back on campus, but in her defense here, I had no means of returning even if I willed to do so, and I had no control over our plans including the return time. So while I think that I would miss everyone just as much if I left willingly, perhaps it would not be quite so poignant a separation as twould be if it were forced.
Mostly that's a side note. I was just thinking about that game, six degrees of separation. Y'know, the one where you try to connect people through acquaintances, work, family, etc. to prove that they are removed by no more than six relationships? That game attempts to connect people who are entirely unrelated and either know nothing about one another or, if they are somehow aware of but not acquainted with one another, have no personal connection. This fall break is a contrast to that game in that we who are already connected, having sunk our hooks securely into each other's lives, were separated. I wonder how many of us besides the Carolinian contingent would have any connections outside of IMPACT. With students from so far afield as Arizona, Texas, Illinois, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, and more local students scattered across Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, North Carolina, and at the far fringes of "local," Virginia, I think it is not unfair to say that few of us could ever have met outside of such a place. To God be the glory, then, because He has willed that we should meet in this time and place. Despite the fact that we have only known each other for a month and a half and been aware of each other for maybe three (more for the preview day-ers), we have begun to form friendships that will last for a lifetime. I think a fairly common observation that we will hear on returning is that "the friendships I've formed at IMPACT are already deeper than some that I've had for years!"
I hope that Kennedy works in a few more devotions about humility when we return. I know that we were all inclined to laugh a bit when for the first two weeks of devotions all Kennedy could say was "humility, guys, humility." But I think that by now we all know Kennedy well enough to recognize that he is constantly (yes, Hayden, I really do mean constantly) attuned to God and the moving of His spirit. If we are not reflecting back on those words, I think that we are setting ourselves up for disaster. With regard to those old friendships... A friendship requires two people. If you feel that you have somehow risen above that relationship, remember that it took two of you to take that friendship to whatever depth it had. If it was shallow, remember that once you were probably not so intent on diving deeper yourself. If it was deep, thank God for the amazing friend that He put in your life who was willing to tackle the issues beneath the surface and to sharpen you in the process. When we fail, we like to distance ourselves from the failure, while we embrace our successes. This attitude borders on the hypocritical. I would suggest that you ought to embrace failure as a stepping stone to success, while distancing yourself from your role in your success by glorifying God in those moments.
However, that is tangential because no friendship can be measured in success or failure: a shallow friendship is simply an opportunity to go deeper. In hall meeting last Sunday, David did a "temperature check" where we rated ourselves on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being the worst day of our lives or 10 being the best. Someone made the observation that a 5 is like neutrality, neither good nor bad. But later on we did a group temperature check of our community where David redefined the numbers by saying that 1 is "you guys cannot continue this way and if you don't do something radical to change it within a day or two, we might as well all go home" and 10 is "you can't possibly do anything to increase your fellowship with one another." Well obviously we are not at a 10, but nobody would put us at a 1 either. But as David pointed out, on September 8th, we were at a 1. None of us really knew each other (again, the Carolinian contingent is the exception), and if we had not been willing to move from a state of ignorance to knowledge, we would never have survived past the first week and a half. So it's not so much moving past neutrality as it is a growth process.
What applies to our entire community as a cohesive unit also applies to individual friendships. Had I gone home for break and visited work, I probably would have realized that most of my friendships there were not far beyond a two. But there my optimism or pessimism would come to the fore in how I designate that situation. Is it a failure or is it an opportunity for growth? Sometimes it's easier to give up, but I would challenge both my classmates and myself to take the more difficult path of seeking growth. Would we really abandon old friendships because we're too elitist to deal in the nitty gritty of sorting out relational difficulties? I hope not.
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