Passion and Pursuit

This evening was just amazing. I won't say this day, because I just found out that my grandfather has cancer and a few other ailments, but this evening definitely trumps a lot of existence. There are really two reasons for that. First, I got to see what Christian community looks like outside of IMPACT, and second, in order to get to the place where I was able to see that, I had to put some of the growth I experienced there into action.

The story:
Last Friday evening, Hadassah and Lia prayed for me while we were at work because I was having an obviously lousy evening. It was wonderful of them and I needed it. More to the point, Hadassah asked me whether I was connected to a Christian body here in Lancaster, and I mentioned that I had actually made that a goal for my summer. She directed me to a small group at Corey and Carrie's that meets on Thursday evenings. I went to church on Sunday at Threshold, got to talk with Vonni and Sara, as well as meeting Sara's friend Audrey. And I was really psyched to get my schedule for this week because somehow my 55 hours did not include Thursday evening (although I still didn't end up working my ten hours today... sickness = bleh). Everything in place, definitely able to go, and it's 5:30 tonight and I have no idea where Corey and Carrie live or what time the group actually meets. Oops.

I text Hadassah and Maria. Neither of them know. But Hadassah gave me Corey's cell phone number. Okay, pause here, and learn something about me: I loathe calling people I do not know. And honestly, I've sort of hung out with Corey because he presided over Maria and Nathan's wedding, plus he's at the cafe sometimes, but I'm a little intimidated by him AND he's a pastor which means he probably is already really busy without having some nitwit call him to ask for his address when said nitwit knows that he's not even going to be at the small group tonight.

But as I held my cell phone in one hand and the paper with his number on it in the other and waffled dramatically, I had a wee bit of a revelation. God really has hand-delivered some things to me over the course of the past two weeks, things that I was intent on seeking out and suddenly found the opportunities right in my hands. The possibility of attending this group was one of those things. But He won't do everything for me.

I always hated that phrase, "God helps those who help themselves," mostly because I already struggle with being too independent and heaven knows I don't need any encouragement. And I still dislike it, but it's approximately what I mean in a twisty, opposite-ish kind of a way. It is as if He said to me, "Look Christy, here's the opportunity you were asking for, but instead of waiting for me to pick it for you and place it in your hands, I want you to reach out and take it."

And so it was that with a sick feeling in my gut that was more nerves than the plague that tried to strike me down yesterday, I side-stepped that loathing and called Corey and got the address and made my way to Lancaster. Hurray! That's the growth from IMPACT, where before I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would have excused and waffled my way right out of going. But some things are more important.

The Story, Part 2:
We've finally made it to small group. I am so psyched to be there and meet tons of new people! Um, no. But it wasn't too painful, except that Ben was late so I got to hang out with two guys on the porch for fifteen minutes. Eh, awkward, yes, terrible, no. But then instead of the usual format of study, he said that we were going to take a field trip. First, we were going to the Lancaster County Park to find a fire pit where we would burn areas in which we have been disappointed by God or fears that we might have. Then, we would drive to the home of Audrey's brother and sister-in-law to pray for their baby. I was cool with the burning things idea, but praying with people that I had just met for people I had never met was a little daunting.

Long story short, at the other end of the evening, I am so excited to see how God can use people and the kind of passion that He has put in their hearts. It's not that I really believed that IMPACT had a monopoly on spirituality, but I guess part of me was afraid that I had left what little courage I had in that area back there and at the same time feared that I would never be able to find a community that was similarly able to foster that gradual growth.

Now if God could help me with unpacking my boxes too, that would be just awesome...

Oh! And I think my car might be fixed. I'll find out tomorrow morning when I start it, but until then, there is hope :)