23.6.10

Tunnel Vision

I arrived home from work this ... well, night, I guess, on the borderline of being out of sorts and was nudged over the line by a moment of unpleasantness involving my mother. That moment led to a mental litany of woe over the things that weigh on me, from dissatisfaction with growth to frustrations at work to the present blank slate awfulness of the future. One shower later, I was brushing my teeth when my dad wandered out of their room to play a midnight insomniac's game of solitaire. I asked him about a medical bill issue and was surprised when he said that he had taken care of it. Into my funk and furor, a ray of light.

It was a little thing, trifling really. A matter of a mere few dollars that maybe means I'll finally be able to go to a gym or who knows what, but it has been hanging onto the edge of my paycheck and tips, waiting to be paid and just one more little nagging thing that frayed at my already fragile nerves. So small, and yet... grace.

It's an unpleasant place to be when you can't appreciate the blue of the sky because you're too busy staring at the clouds.

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