Restoration

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us... //Hebrews 12:1//


I would like to start by admitting that I just chose that verse because it mentioned races and I want to say something clever about running. And it kind of applies in other ways. Anyway. That's my confession. Now for the clever bit.


As we run the race of life, sometimes our attention drifts and we end up running into a wall. The thing about running a long distance race is that you can't stop once you've started. It is so hard to pick up the pieces of what you were doing and go on when your muscles are aching and your lungs are screaming and everything in you whispers (or shouts), "Stop a moment, rest, you can resume the course later." As any runner who is like me knows, once you've paused for a rest, you'll either not start again or you will take more breaks afterward. 


At some point over the course of this past week, I hit a wall. The combination of sleep deprivation, lack of proper alone time, and absence of the truly familiar began to wear down my reserves and when I sat down to work on my first real paper this evening, it clobbered me. Defeated but resigned to my fate of arduously pegging away at writing this paper, I wandered back in the direction of my room with the intention of cloistering myself until something came from my fingers. But thankfully Krista sprang to the rescue. She recognized that something was wrong and told me to take my car and go someplace where I could be alone with God. Also thankfully, I had a place in mind, so I gratefully took her advice and made a break for it with Bible and journal in hand.


The world is beautiful from the heights of the mountains. Why do we associate majesty with great heights? Whatever the reason may be, the valley at sunset is not a thing to be laughed at. I pulled into a secluded overlook on the border of FDR State Park and howled at God for a half an hour until the sun had sunk into its bed. Not quite ready to return, I laid on the hood of my car and watched as the stars began making their presence known. I don't know if I found peace, but when I returned, I felt a renewed sense of strength to carry on. Maybe that is peace: knowing that in spite of the stress and the burdens that we carry, we will never be unable to soldier on because our strength is not our own. So I took my time getting to the work that I needed to do. I ate a bowl of yogurt and granola, helped critique Julia's paper, drank an amazing Jamocha shake courtesy of Chelsea, laughed when Julia kicked her out, printed off notes for James, chatted with Leah about the lecture and paper topics, started my paper and found myself 100 words short of a good summary. At that point, I ran next door to Meredith asking to see her notes and when she expressed her frustration and writer's block, I took her for a random, delightful run around the campus to clear her mind which didn't work out so well for me because I was wearing jeans without a belt. Oh dear. :) And apparently it just completely distracted her because she ended up doing P90X in the Commons Room, but so? 


Yes, I only have a paragraph and a half of my 750 word, three page paper written. Yes, I am late in getting to bed now. But I feel like my evening was not a waste. If anything, I benefitted immensely from the varied activities because I felt rested in a way that transcends satisfying the demands of exhaustion.


So now that all of that is out of me, I'm going to sleep. Dream sweet!