Sinking Into Grace

 We are His portion and He is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

//from How He Loves by John Mark McMillan//

Today is a beautiful day. The clouds overhead are threatening rain, and when the rain falls, it is as if God's grace is in every drop.

Last night at our Tuesday Bible study known also as 737 we were talking about Genesis 1-3 and Revelation 21-22. Creation and ultimate Redemption. Somehow in the course of talking about those chapters, David (one of our Student Living and Learning Coordinators) said something very simple and profound. "God likes you." And I know your first thought is probably, "Yeah, Christy, I know. It's not exactly old news." But think about it. We all know that God loves us. Your mother probably told you that as she tucked you in at night when you were three. But do you really believe that God likes you? Because suddenly that changes things. Where once you feared to approach Him, suddenly that fear falls away. Because He likes you. He made you, and yes, you are flawed, and yes, you have a lot of scars, guilt, a burden that you ache under, but He likes you.

Today I learned a bit about grace. For years I have struggled with something that has torn away at my spirit, and while I have shared it before with some people, I have never been able to escape it. But I knew even as I was filling out the application and writing my admissions essays for IMPACT 360 that if I didn't deal with it then, I would end up dealing with it here.  So I came prepared to be vulnerable, to be raw and open, afraid but suffocating. 

Have you ever hidden in a closet while playing hide and seek? Your impatience grows as you await the hollers that accompany the seeker finding one of your playmates, gradually growing sweaty and uncomfortable, fighting off a sneeze as the dust of a well-packed closet creeps into your nostrils until you want so badly to be found. And you wait. Seconds feel like minutes. And you wait. Until at last you hear tentative footsteps, the creak of the door opening, the light pouring in as it is carried on a breath of the sweetest, freshest air you could imagine.

I have played hide and seek for a long time. But by God's grace, I have been found and the air outside is sweeter than honey, the rain that falls a kiss. Because He loves me. And because He likes me. 

I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely. //Psalm 63:6-8//

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight... Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me-- now let me rejoice. //Psalm 51:1-4a, 7-8//

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. //1 John 1:8-9//