Divine Order

The attic space in my head reminds me a little bit of the Room of Requirement. Though there are a lot of broken fragments of ideas floating around in there, some half-forgotten line of poetry or deep profundity out of the dustiest depths of time and philosophy will always arise to meet the need at hand. I am not entirely sure how they all got there, but they don't seem to mind the clutter and mess, and they are generally a congenial bunch, quick to come when they are called.

Today's lines are from a poem by e.e. cummings that I read in my American Literature class in my sophomore year of high school. 

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you

I've always enjoyed those odd lines and the rest of the poem that follows, but I feel like it's a fitting tribute to the past week and how it flows into today. As I have just been reading in the book of Acts, God doesn't have a tendency of working the same way twice. And yet every different way that He works, incredible breakthrough follows. As I will explain later, we have had an odd order of lecture weeks, but God's time is perfect time, and I am learning to appreciate that all the more.

Amy Sollars spoke at our school this past week (podcasts are available under Fire and Fragrance: School of Revival and Reformation on iTunes... or just click the link), and she brought some pretty incredible stories that were both challenging and faith-building. But more than stories and teaching, she delivered a word for our school that brought us to our knees in a time of repentance. As she put it, there was a crippling wave of passivity overwhelming us, to the degree that much of the incredible teaching and outreach we were doing was not able to reach our minds and stir our hearts. And she was right: in so many ways, our spiritual sponges had seemed saturated, and so we allowed ourselves to slip a little bit, losing our hunger for the incredible things that God is willing to do if we will only call on Him and have faith in His ability to transform. 

On a personal note, I was definitely experiencing that passivity and have noticed it since around the time we had our faith journeys in November. It was a frustrating decline after the exhilarating first few months of our discipleship training school when Jesus stepped in and taught my heart to hear His voice. How could I have gone from being so lovesick to just being tired?

If I have learned one thing over the course of this school, it is that a loving rebuke is more soothing than empty flattery. Discipline is a doorway to freedom, and I found that for myself in the events of last Tuesday and Wednesday. As my last post indicates, I rediscovered a whole lotta junk that I never thought to see again, but in bringing it into the light and fresh air, none of it seemed so overwhelming as it once had.

So how does a week on the supernatural that involved deliverance, healing, and impartation lead into a week on revival in the Ivy Leagues? God doesn't pay much attention to syntax, but His timing is ideal. You see, God absolutely is in the business of taking broken people and making them whole. But individual wholeness is not an end in itself: it is a means to the end of glorifying God. I am weak, as last week only too well proved, but He partners with weak people that His name would be made great. Although it made no logical sense on paper, the progression of lecture weeks was an excellent one in practice.

Erik Fish and Brad McKoy are our speakers this week, and they come out of a movement that disciples and empowers university students to share the gospel and build the church on their campuses. Grace upon grace and freedom that follows freedom. Our evangelism week during dts phase was not terrible- we actually saw a lot of fruit. But Doug Tunny's means of evangelism push the far limits of my abilities, and the thought of doing that for three months was an exhausting forecast of dying to self moment by moment. Erik and Brad breathed life into tired bones and lifted a burden that I couldn't quite cast off by releasing us to walk in relationship and discipleship, teaching us how to share in a way that would be multipliable rather than a flash in the pan. I think I can honestly say that this is the most realistically encouraged and excited that I have thus far been concerning outreach.

On the topic of outreach, I do have one request to make. God has been abundant in His provision, and my heartiest thanks go out to those who have been a part of that. But I still need approximately $1300 toward the final cost of the trip. I ask that you would prayerfully consider whether you might have something to contribute to that. This is an incredible opportunity to sow into a work that only grows with time. As Erik was quick to note, what happens on a university campus does not stay on a university campus; it moves outward to your home, workplace, and even the nations, thanks to the high numbers of international students. More information on how to donate (and details about the trip) can be found in this post.

Thank you all for your friendship, prayers, time, and consideration! As Carl Bakey would say... Shalom.


  1. Hey have you ever heard of the Veritas forum? maybe that is a silly question?... www.veritas.org

  2. Sorry, I didn't see your comment! I I have heard a lot about it recently, perhaps because I am in Boston and hanging around Harvard/MIT at present. :)